velvet

Nightfall, here we are again
Take no more space
As eyelids rest
And lips store wounds and wisdom away
We hope things work for the best

Whether alone
Or if we’re too crowded around
Your silence brings closure
Say goodbye today

Friend, forgive, I spoke too soon
Mother, I know I’m ungrateful
Companion, I still wait for you
Spirit, may I have one last boon

Give me tomorrow
I’ve got dues to pay

coward much

Something so unnecessary
Who ever thought of it first?
So irrational
It makes no sense
So weakening
Life-threatening
It’d be foolish to ever think it lasts

Because who can risk so much
And remain sane

Rather opt for a simple transaction
I remain loyal, you pretend you’re fine

So many interpretations to the causes
Betted on outcomes the same
Choose the one who’ll hold the detonator
Strap explosives and enter zone
If all else fails
At least there’ll be a spectacle

straw

Slipped right through
Didn’t even see you leave
When was it we divided?
Parted your hair 
Kissed you goodbye

Stuck in between
What you left and gave
Even if I burn these pictures
You’ll still remain
The outlines of your hands
On me

Sleek and bent
Out of shape by the hurt
Your taste lingers
Sweet
Bitter aftertaste
Time wished for

transplant

Three steps away from the fall
Technique crafted centered, cloned, disgusted
Small

I will not be shallow
Wilt not
Shalt not be disgruntled
Shout not

Throw quilt and rush through flame
Last left is going to shoulder the blame
Straight does not imply tame

Wallow in the mud
Cut it in the bud
Spray in circular treasons
Satanic legions with civilian cards
Suicidal bomber runs forth
Forward pressure
Backward displeasure

One step from the ledge
Close eyes
How much will these remains fetch?

db

Who am I to you
That you would acknowledge
My thoughts and feelings
And make them seem important

Who are you
Other than an image
I’ve created in my head
I may never really know you

What are these words I’ve learned
Day in and day out never spoken
But recalled all of a sudden… now
Could there be an underlying meaning

What can you take, if anything at all
To not hinder the magic that translates
The bad into good, the worst into wisdom
Leaving you satisfied but wanting more

abel

Beside, before, begin
Decide, devour, destined
Allow, arouse, align
Reside, refine, regain

Mysteries emerge and sink
Memories bind and ring
In little pockets
Corners fold in the wind

Define stature
Stolen tombs
Assign fragments
Designed alone

Converge, combine, collide
Emerge, enshrine, erudite
Submerge, sublime, suffice
Preserve, primed, plied

name

Arms = useless
Long to wrap you
Lips = silent
Every word waiting
Eyes = drooping
So many faces
Except yours

Desire = stagnant
Balanced on your replies
Ears = closing in
Your voice resonating within
Heart = arrested
Voluntary imprisonment
Love strike

Mind = far, far away
Floating in the space you left me
Soul = fluctuates
Desperate then down
Life = claustrophobic
Can I haunt you

Belshazzar, read

Star sensors
Comparisons never hit the mark
Optical illusions
Goals draw closer

By a touch of decadence
Touch and go meetings
Metal detectors light up like Christmas
Underhand, undercover assassins

Brother, take your share of shame
Greying hair is not to blame
Sister, where’s your mister
Did he leave like you foresaw

A name that endures blasphemy
Forest cover run aground
Never too late to change trajectory
Turn, spin, come around

varuna

Open sails
No wind to propel me
Lifeless oars
I lay down
Sirens sing seductively in the distance
Dare I row and never return

Open seas
No compass to direct me
Countless wrecks
To warn me of denial
Here I wait
As if for a calamity

Come storm
Come kraken
Come mighty Armageddon
My mind is still
My heart servile

pass the baton

Long intermission
chequered flag
nothing will stop me now
i’m striving for my vision

Seen the beguiling calmness of sloth
enamored by his half-brother apathy
at last facing the one that does not deceive
the image that resides within me

I will not shirk another day
nor allow pride’s clammy hands intervene
this is my right, now I take hold of it
the only way out is through

soft spot

By morning light
Yours is the first face I see
And I haven’t even opened my eyes
My body still strung-out
Dazed, stumble to the sink
Need a window open
Get some fresh air in

How do you look when you rise
Is your lush hair all messy and your lips dry
Pillow lines on your soft cheeks
I’d like to watch you then
See you at your weakest
Support you and hold you up
You’d mumble some obscenities and flee

After you primp
There won’t be any vulnerability left
I’d have to wait for the night

paths

A single track
An abandoned home
I found my way back
You are long gone

You say “Carry on
Your freedom’s your own
Don’t replay the past
Our sacred morn”

I wonder if you remember me
I accept the blame for not convincing thee
But how was I to know what you wanted
I think I do now

So here I am
Ready to do what it takes
To regain your favor
I’ll never allow
My defenses to separate us again

This time, I’ll accept the least you can spare
This time, I won’t let your words my heart to scare
This time, I’ll allow whatever may befall
Come hurt or failure, you’ll be my all

since i can’t sing you to sleep

As I go to rest tonight

Let me remind you I thought of you

I thought of you lots today

I imagined you smiling

I imagined you talking to me in that strange accent you got

Not in a bad way

It’s just different for me

I miss it…

 

And you might think I can rest peacefully

While you still battle your demons

But it’s not true

If I could I’d visit you daily in my dreams

Oh, that’d be swell

It’s MY dream, so I’d make you me

And I’d be you

I’d order you around and snap and yell

And make you afraid to approach

Then I’d spread my arms wide 

And whistle a tune

Wink at you and wave to come over

Oh, what fun…

 

Other times I’d sit with you by a brook

I’d press your nose like a play button

The words will flow forth unhindered

And you might cry, as I know you will

So I’ll turn all your tears into truffles

Hmm, maybe they are too rich

Okay, maybe I’d just make them flowers

So the more you cry

The more you’ll be buried 

Under varied flowers of different colors

That would lift you up

 

I’d let you brew some coffee

I’ll have a cup of tea (I’ve stopped caffeine)

And we’ll watch the star’s light the night

There need be no cuddles

This is a dream after all

Real would be better

reform

Watch me float under the surface
Of all the lies I’ve ever been told

Watch me ride the crest of this tragedy
Crash against the rocks
Break my bones
So I can slip to the depths
The current shall put back together
What was cruelly taken apart

Watch me seize the blazing sun
With bear hands
Rip the cosmos in two
To retrieve the freedom once encased

Watch me as I disappear into nothing
And reappear as another being

Watch me reinventing my strategies
Taking on the task of getting into shape

Watch me stare into the vast blackness
No one knows what’s coming
But I have memory
A fully equipped understudy

Watch me slip out of this skin
Appear distant, potent
Erstwhile victim

odds

Fear
Of you
Of losing you
Of running away from you
Of not understanding you
Of irritating you
Of not living up to you
Of misleading you
Of pushing you away
Of not being there for you
Of being there for you
Of being too intrusive
Of knowing too much
Of making a fool of myself
Of giving into defeat
Of reacting
Of losing my way
Of being taken for granted
Of over-stepping your boundaries
Of boring you out
Of tying myself down
Of not reading the signs
Of missing the mark

Valor
To try

stop counting

This time

I won’t let you get rid of me so easily

I may not be the type of man you wished for

But I have a plan…

Oh, yes, this is gonna be crazy difficult

Knowing your penchant for stubbornness

And I believe I am gonna waste my days away

Hoping you’d reconsider

Of course we can’t go back

Who would want to

But there is a present

And more importantly a future

We never know

You might find some use for me some day

Yes, I read that book too, remember

11 minutes is actually too little time

To even get started

But you wouldn’t know that now…

And the one who wrote that

Should realize that passion is not mathematics…

I wish you the best as the field is set

Let’s see who tires out in the end

If it is me, well, you won’t be disappointed

And if it is you

By God, that’d be worth everything that leads up to it…

تحول

Wipe me clean
So I can start again
Correct the mistakes
I made on the way

Snip off the edges
Where I cut you

Dance with your nimble feet
Shape with sensual hands
So I fit into the frame
You’ve hidden

Long have I stood my ground
Tried to take you on in fight
Hoping you’d see things my way

Now, I only want to hold you
Celebrate the things we had
And could have again

If you accept
I will abandon my pride
I will leave everything behind
So I can show you my devotion
From the beginning

મીરા

Lay beside me now to rest
I’ll cover all your brokenness
For in you
Beauty is fulfilled

All I’ve ever dreamt
Hoped would come to pass
I stand at your door
I won’t knock to disturb

But I’ll weave words you can read
I’ll send you letters that open me wide
To any outcome you have planned
Give me a chance is all I ask

I do not promise you the world
Only me and all I have
I don’t intend to make you mine
Only that you fill my life

With your sweet inspiration
Your graceful wisdom
With your passionate words
Your pristine light

I’ve been a fool to think I’d be happy
Wandered across this existence
To get away from your hurt
Always looking back to see if you’d follow

Forgive me, I want to follow you
Because you have the strength I need
I just want you back
Cause with you, nothing I lack

to jasmine

I know you might not believe
A word I say
After all I’m a man
But let me say them anyway
While I feel them
Lest they may never be spoken

I have been convincing myself
All this time
That it would never have worked out between us
IF anything ever happened

Cause I don’t understand you often
And you get frustrated
And whenever you tried to reach out to me
I was too modest to take advantage of your goodness

To tell you the truth
I respect your opinion and your actions
So when you ignored me
It was harder to bear
For all I looked to you for support
You were afraid of that confidence
And for whatever reasons you stayed away
It hurt

I have been telling myself
You’re too good for me
After all you know all my faults
At least most of them
And even the thought of how you want to get married
And all that
Scares me
I don’t have money like that

And you’re so qualified
In a way it’s good you’re independent
Otherwise, it would be foolish to even consider me

Even my friends say I was stupid
And I don’t know if they’re right
But somewhere deep inside
I still wished things had worked out
I still wish for you
Even with all my drawbacks, and setbacks
I still think I can be there for you
I still think I can take care of you
Even if not financially
At least emotionally

And if this is sounding funny to you
You can laugh
I am writing it with the best of intentions
To get this off my chest
But I know it is crazy
Like something from “The Noetbook”
And all that other fantastic stuff

I miss you most of all
And I know you are busy
You never told me what you’re doing now
When you’re free, send me a line
It would mean the world to me

And just so you know
It took all my failures in the past 6 months
With past flames and new interests
To realize I was afraid of fighting for you

I did try a bit
And maybe I have been trying all along
Even if it is all just a dream
A fabrication
A one-sided story
You were never part of

I still miss our time spent worlds apart
All into the morning
Knowing I would be late for work
Knowing I needed the rest
Knowing I would stay up until my eyes bled
But you would say sleep, and I had to obey
I have always listened to what you said
Now will you listen to me

ಮೀರಾ

Oh, yes, I saw you
And what a refreshing sight
To weary eyes

How can I express your beauty
I cannot define it

Your milky white skin
That navy blue dress
The tilt of your head
Your hair skirts your neck

And those piercing eyes
How long you’ve hidden from me

I am a man of many weaknesses
And beauty does enslave our kind
So as shallow as it may seem
As clichéd and over-used

You are beyond compare

Just thought I’ll right my wrongs
And state clearly
Yes, you are fairer than the fairest
Yes, you are sweet to behold
Yes, you might make me regret this
But I see radiance in your eyes
No matter if I’m lost in them
I don’t care if you turn away
I have gazed on your countenance
And found my blessing

porque

Quit
Underestimating my intelligence
Exaggerating my vigilance
Trampling my conscience

Just
Because I have a heart
I still feel and fall
Doesn’t make me lesser
A pushover
You can play silly games with

Just
Because I take people at their word
Doesn’t make me a fool

Quit
Stereotyping everything and everyone
I see you as a person
As a being with personal choices
What makes me a man
You a woman
Aren’t the same things that make us human

Just
Like you’re unique, so are we

Quit
Connecting my actions to what others have done

Quit
Negating my motives
When I’m trying to reach out to you

Quit
Thinking love doesn’t exist
Feeling sorry for yourself

Quit complaining
Start believing

blasted cucumbers

 Staring at someone for too long
Makes one believe nothing else is real
Convinces us that there’s nothing more beautiful
Than those eyes, that nose, those luscious lips
Waiting to be bitten, kissed
Looking intently at anything
Makes us attached
Creates a space within
That can be filled by no other

Sight is the key

The blind cannot covet (wild guess)
They might get jealous
They might desire
They might feel loss and pain
But what the eyes can’t behold
The mind can’t obsess

Gazing at anyone over a period of time
Becomes a habit
At first their words matter
Later, only the sounds register
Tone of skin
Hairline and expression
Presence becomes impossible to resist
One must look or brood

Gouge one’s eyes out? Ha, ha
Wear glasses that blur vision? Oh, ho…
Don’t make eye contact? Hmm…
Never settle on one? Sigh

Or

Save places in our hearts
For those pretty faces
Those slender limbs and fingers
That might never be touched
But can be redrawn in mental pictures
Over and over again
A touch here
A shade there

After all
Admiration can cause no harm
(At least not yet)

gash

Blood is nice
Blood is warm and transcendental
Watch how it flows
Through veins and fingers
Dripping down
To the floor
Not for show
You might die
But at least it’s pretty
Yeah

Blood is sweet to taste
Iron and brimstone
Oh, the texture and the feel
So soft and sticky

Blood is life
And those who shed it
Will weep
Tears that sink in the sand
Forgotten forever forlorn

Blood unites
Delivers the free
From the overpowering numbness
Sharp blade
Begging cartilage
Slashes sing

kin

Only light
Only a moment to realize what’s missing
Only a misunderstanding
Only what’s become

Belittle and berate the truth
What lies beneath our youth
Our faces
Chases the glow from our skins
Settling in ashes
Covered in rags
Torment within

Only suppose we find our wills
Hidden in chests with no keys
Hearts that have long since ceased
To beat
To share and believe

We are in this together
Even if we will never be whole
Even if we will never be one
We are the same

give

Give me my mountains
I’m tired of these plains
Shallow springs
That only wet my feet
And keep me wanting more

Give me waterfalls
Crashing earthward
Shattering sounds and foam
That wash me completely

Give me clean, crisp air
Cold nights to cuddle and tell stories
Around a camp fire with a hot cup of tea
Morning walks to refresh my mind

Give me strong winds
Forces I have to fight against
Instead of mundane comforts
Give me sheer cliffs
To climb and achieve victory

green bottles

Impossible
Countless times to infinity
Water to wine
Risen from the dead
Virgin birth

Caught up in explanations
Love does not exist
Only want and need
Hunger and greed
Exploit and abuse

Strong over poor
Money gets you far
Just watch the progress
Hidden slums
Unwanted prospects

So proud of our strides
Slow-coaches never catch up
Ancestors curse still hold sway
Reap what you sow
If it doesn’t quite add up
Blame

Anyone and everything
Justice isn’t foolproof
Like its distracted creator
It serves a purpose
Offers an appearance of control
When in truth
Accidents always happen

daze

Yellow, orange, brown, green
Tiny feet appear on the scene
Balmy nights and sticky days
Endless monotone plays

Envision beaches and sand
If only to be far from land
Palm trees spring from the surf
Prickly crabs mark their turf

Then there are mountains
Fresh, receding tea plantations
Rains that smudge all familiarity
Prayers marked by solemnity

Back to our plight
Fans spinning all night
Morning brings temporary respite
Umpteen reasons to stay inside

sorrow in small doses

Presently no one speaks. But there are still sounds and expressions. Vague translations that plague the mind, interpreting biased languages of no origin.

Parading down unkempt shutters and woven carpets, balancing on the rim–

Spectacles that reflect more than necessary, causing overbearing words and sharpened responses. Falling to the floor, like dried leaves, crackling fires and marshmallows. Summer sores and plagues that cause weight-loss. That terrific occurrence that brings smiles to faces and celebrations. For now, she can fit in that dress and he can wear that t-shirt and strut his stuff.

Who wants a piece of this?

No one believed he was capable. So he had to prove them wrong for the last time. Just so he could get a peaceful night’s rest. Make do with what his father left – nothing. So he whines and snores, torturing every woman who dares share his bed. They blame his wild upbringing. He loathes their terrible cooking.

Finally finding a finger to fit the ring, he laughs– She stares and pulls her hand back. The moment is gone.

velocity

On a day such as this
Between storm and comfort
In a little effort
The faintest gesture
Everything settles
The horizon clears
There is reason

That the sun would have set on that shore
That we couldn’t carry on anymore
Like this
We must close that door
Roll that stone
Carry on

A life begins
Where once only fear existed
There is hope

The die is cast
The world may have twisted
But cannot extinguish
Dreams reborn

Unanswered

Morning cross
Weapons of reluctance
Sink deeper than bullets
Shattering stark bones
Splitting nerves
Leaving crucified

Afternoon swastika
Bodies lie charred in the street
From all that hatred
Bitter secret
Burning stronger with time
Blame progress

Nighttime idols
Carved and engraved in beauty
Holding firm to traditions
One must not question
Simply accept and realize effects
Life cycles